One of the reasons that I am able to blog so much this week is because I am on a little vacation at a campsite I have in the country. I am turkey hunting in the mornings, working on this and that in the afternoons, and stargazing in the evenings if it is not too cloudy. Anyway, turkey season ends Thursday (tomorrow), and this week is the first opportunity I have had to hunt turkeys all season.
I started turkey hunting about three years ago. I have yet to bag that first turkey, but tomorrow may be the day I make personal history. As with all of my hobbies, turkey hunting has a lot of associated accoutrements that one must obtain. Turkey hunting skills are also useful, but in my opinion, they are optional. It’s the garb and gadgets that are fun. My wife, Dr. NanBob, thinks I am OCD when it comes to acquiring stuff for my hobbies. She tells me “That’s all you ever talk about,” and I am thinking to myself “… and your point is?” Anyway, she is right. I do get obsessed with my hobbies, and for me, hobbies mean acquiring the associated stuff. All the other skill related behaviors are just gravy.
If you want to turkey hunt, you first need a shotgun. I prefer a 12-gauge with #5 “Nitro Turkey Load.” With those shells, somebody’s ass will be blown away when you pull the trigger; the turkey’s ass, your ass, or both. The second thing you will need down here where I hunt is a good pair of camouflaged snake boots. You may be thinking “Naa, I will simply shoot the snakes,” but if they are near your feet, it is not a good idea. Trust Dr. JimBob on this one.
The next stuff you will need is some camouflage, including a turkey hunting vest to store all of your acquired stuff. I like the Mossy Oak New Breakup pattern. I work with a student who likes to wear camo to school. She is cool. She would like my turkey hunting outfit I bet. It is mesh-like material, and lets your body breath in the heat of the day. It also has lots of pockets to store your other stuff. That’s a big plus. Turkeys are said to have the best pair of eyes in the woods, so you NEED this camo to stay hidden. Gloves, hat, facemask, the works! It’s a must. Once you are dressed up, you can scare your spouse when he/she comes home from work, or you can be a catalog model for Cabela’s. There are so many options AFTER you get the stuff. Getting the stuff is crucial.
Once you are appropriately dressed, you need to focus on acquiring the correct types of turkey calls. You see, you have to get a turkey to come to you before you can blow its head off. I am talking between 30-50 yards here. You do this by calling to it. Here where I live, you can only shoot a male turkey, preferably an older male, which is often referred to as a “gobbler” because they will sometimes gobble. The first thing you want to do is make a gobbler gobble so that you know approximately where it is at in the woods. The turkey woods are immense….no gobble, no turkey. You do this with things called locator calls. Turkeys hear these calls and they will sometimes gobble back at the caller. They do this instinctively. It’s kind of like somebody yelling “screw you” out of a passing vehicle, and you instinctively flip them off….Yes, it’s like that. Anyway, there are different kinds of locator calls. Calls of the first type make owl noises, and they are good at provoking early morning gobbles. They are usually tubes that you blow into, and they make a hooting sound. I have trouble using these calls, because in order to make it sound authentic, you must roll your tongue at the end of the cadence. I can’t roll my tongue. I have tried and tried, and people have tried to show me how, but I can’t do it. I think I read on Google that the ability to roll one’s tongue was a genetic gift. If so, then I don’t have that gene. Good thing that I am not Hispanic, or I would be a social outcast. Fortunately, there are other types of locator calls like crow or hawk calls. They are like kazoos. You just blow into them, and I can manage that.
If you can locate a turkey by tricking it into gobbling at you, then you must set up on it (i.e., hide yourself in the woods) and call it to your position. You accomplish this using a variety of calls like box calls, friction calls, or mouth (diaphragm) calls. The former is the easiest to master whereas the latter is hardest. Basically you are trying to make the gobbler think you are a HOT hen who is looking for her big boy to make some sweet, sweet love. You can make a whole lot of different sounds including a yelp, a cluck, or a purr. An interested gobbler will find them all sexy. I like friction calls the best, but I have been trying to use a mouth call this past year. It is basically a thin reed in a thin rubber case that you shove into the roof of your mouth. The first time I tried it, I almost puked. A few weeks later, I tried again, and I almost choked on it. That would be my luck to see a turkey, and get so excited that I choked on my mouth call. Anyway, I have practiced some more, and now I can at least make some sounds without gagging. My mouth calling does not sound too turkey-like, but I can perform recognizable Christmas tunes like “Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”
Anyway, if you can lure the turkey in with your sexy sounds, then you blow its head off. Enough training … Now you just need to get some of this stuff, and you too can be a turkey hunter like Dr. JimBob.
I was excited about turkey hunting this week. I took a paper turkey target to t
he rifle range and made sure my gun and marksmanship were both okay. Perfecto. I then took my turkey calls to school, and I had my graduate students come outside to the parking lot to study them. I then proceeded to show them all my calls and teach them 
how to use each one. I want them to have a broad education. Graduate school can be much too focused today. Anyway, a male student heard one of their calls, and he gobbled at them. No joke! I encouraged them to call him in, but they didn’t want to do it. Their interest began to wane quickly, so I gave them my turkey target from the morning’s practice as a souvenir.
For the last couple of days, I have been getting up early, and riding my ATV deep into the turkey woods. When I get there, I start out on foot. I walk and walk, and call and call for miles and miles, about 3 miles per day. This is good exercise. I haven’t heard a single gobble though. Faen. I did, however, inspire a horny, love-sick goose to follow me around for about a half-mile yesterday. My calling must be improving.
I have seen a few other animals this week like a deer, a rabbit, a squirrel, two turtles, fire ants and gnats. Oh, and I also saw a baby snake about 4 inches long scurrying across the road. I mentioned snake boots before, right? Anyway, I am not fond of snakes. That’s a story for another day. Suffice it to say that turtles remind me of snakes, and when I see a turtle, the bundle of fibers that fire in my brain must be close to those that signal “SNAKE” because I always sense that there must also be snakes around. Good thing for those boots.
Well, tomorrow is the last day of the season. At this point, I am turkeyless, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. Tonight, I will sit at my campsite, and practice some of my calls. I am thinking of adding “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” to my mouth call repertoire.
Best Wishes,
Dr. JimBob
I started turkey hunting about three years ago. I have yet to bag that first turkey, but tomorrow may be the day I make personal history. As with all of my hobbies, turkey hunting has a lot of associated accoutrements that one must obtain. Turkey hunting skills are also useful, but in my opinion, they are optional. It’s the garb and gadgets that are fun. My wife, Dr. NanBob, thinks I am OCD when it comes to acquiring stuff for my hobbies. She tells me “That’s all you ever talk about,” and I am thinking to myself “… and your point is?” Anyway, she is right. I do get obsessed with my hobbies, and for me, hobbies mean acquiring the associated stuff. All the other skill related behaviors are just gravy.
If you want to turkey hunt, you first need a shotgun. I prefer a 12-gauge with #5 “Nitro Turkey Load.” With those shells, somebody’s ass will be blown away when you pull the trigger; the turkey’s ass, your ass, or both. The second thing you will need down here where I hunt is a good pair of camouflaged snake boots. You may be thinking “Naa, I will simply shoot the snakes,” but if they are near your feet, it is not a good idea. Trust Dr. JimBob on this one.
The next stuff you will need is some camouflage, including a turkey hunting vest to store all of your acquired stuff. I like the Mossy Oak New Breakup pattern. I work with a student who likes to wear camo to school. She is cool. She would like my turkey hunting outfit I bet. It is mesh-like material, and lets your body breath in the heat of the day. It also has lots of pockets to store your other stuff. That’s a big plus. Turkeys are said to have the best pair of eyes in the woods, so you NEED this camo to stay hidden. Gloves, hat, facemask, the works! It’s a must. Once you are dressed up, you can scare your spouse when he/she comes home from work, or you can be a catalog model for Cabela’s. There are so many options AFTER you get the stuff. Getting the stuff is crucial.
Once you are appropriately dressed, you need to focus on acquiring the correct types of turkey calls. You see, you have to get a turkey to come to you before you can blow its head off. I am talking between 30-50 yards here. You do this by calling to it. Here where I live, you can only shoot a male turkey, preferably an older male, which is often referred to as a “gobbler” because they will sometimes gobble. The first thing you want to do is make a gobbler gobble so that you know approximately where it is at in the woods. The turkey woods are immense….no gobble, no turkey. You do this with things called locator calls. Turkeys hear these calls and they will sometimes gobble back at the caller. They do this instinctively. It’s kind of like somebody yelling “screw you” out of a passing vehicle, and you instinctively flip them off….Yes, it’s like that. Anyway, there are different kinds of locator calls. Calls of the first type make owl noises, and they are good at provoking early morning gobbles. They are usually tubes that you blow into, and they make a hooting sound. I have trouble using these calls, because in order to make it sound authentic, you must roll your tongue at the end of the cadence. I can’t roll my tongue. I have tried and tried, and people have tried to show me how, but I can’t do it. I think I read on Google that the ability to roll one’s tongue was a genetic gift. If so, then I don’t have that gene. Good thing that I am not Hispanic, or I would be a social outcast. Fortunately, there are other types of locator calls like crow or hawk calls. They are like kazoos. You just blow into them, and I can manage that.
If you can locate a turkey by tricking it into gobbling at you, then you must set up on it (i.e., hide yourself in the woods) and call it to your position. You accomplish this using a variety of calls like box calls, friction calls, or mouth (diaphragm) calls. The former is the easiest to master whereas the latter is hardest. Basically you are trying to make the gobbler think you are a HOT hen who is looking for her big boy to make some sweet, sweet love. You can make a whole lot of different sounds including a yelp, a cluck, or a purr. An interested gobbler will find them all sexy. I like friction calls the best, but I have been trying to use a mouth call this past year. It is basically a thin reed in a thin rubber case that you shove into the roof of your mouth. The first time I tried it, I almost puked. A few weeks later, I tried again, and I almost choked on it. That would be my luck to see a turkey, and get so excited that I choked on my mouth call. Anyway, I have practiced some more, and now I can at least make some sounds without gagging. My mouth calling does not sound too turkey-like, but I can perform recognizable Christmas tunes like “Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”
Anyway, if you can lure the turkey in with your sexy sounds, then you blow its head off. Enough training … Now you just need to get some of this stuff, and you too can be a turkey hunter like Dr. JimBob.
I was excited about turkey hunting this week. I took a paper turkey target to t
he rifle range and made sure my gun and marksmanship were both okay. Perfecto. I then took my turkey calls to school, and I had my graduate students come outside to the parking lot to study them. I then proceeded to show them all my calls and teach them 
how to use each one. I want them to have a broad education. Graduate school can be much too focused today. Anyway, a male student heard one of their calls, and he gobbled at them. No joke! I encouraged them to call him in, but they didn’t want to do it. Their interest began to wane quickly, so I gave them my turkey target from the morning’s practice as a souvenir.For the last couple of days, I have been getting up early, and riding my ATV deep into the turkey woods. When I get there, I start out on foot. I walk and walk, and call and call for miles and miles, about 3 miles per day. This is good exercise. I haven’t heard a single gobble though. Faen. I did, however, inspire a horny, love-sick goose to follow me around for about a half-mile yesterday. My calling must be improving.
I have seen a few other animals this week like a deer, a rabbit, a squirrel, two turtles, fire ants and gnats. Oh, and I also saw a baby snake about 4 inches long scurrying across the road. I mentioned snake boots before, right? Anyway, I am not fond of snakes. That’s a story for another day. Suffice it to say that turtles remind me of snakes, and when I see a turtle, the bundle of fibers that fire in my brain must be close to those that signal “SNAKE” because I always sense that there must also be snakes around. Good thing for those boots.
Well, tomorrow is the last day of the season. At this point, I am turkeyless, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. Tonight, I will sit at my campsite, and practice some of my calls. I am thinking of adding “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” to my mouth call repertoire.
Best Wishes,
Dr. JimBob
2 comments:
Hey, Jim Bob - don't feel so bad about not killing a turkey. At least you've killed a big ole hog!!
cookie6446: I can always go to the store and buy a frozen butterball turkey to practice with at the target range. Fourth year's the charm....
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